The Premier

So I've had this blog bouncing around in my head for quite a few weeks, but with all the hullabaloo of school ending and the holidays, I just haven't had the time to sit down and type it out till just about...now.

Being engaged, being betrothed is an odd sensation. It's an inbetween period, a limbo, a transitioning step. You gain new freedoms and boundaries, new questions and assurances. It is completely overwhelming and yet simply happy at the same time. Basically, your head decides to implode and explode at the same time creating this lovely rouge to the outside world that it is simply floating naturally above your shoulders as it always has. Everyone has advice, a book, a recommendation, or a name to give. There's about 200, 000 intricacies to plan about the wedding and 7 zillion different ways to offend someone by the way you plan them. And all this is happening while you are simultaneously attempting to prepare yourself for the marriage after the wedding.

And all you really want to do is be with the man you love...for the rest of your life.
All this chaos just seems very unnecessary, bothersome, and painful.

But there is purpose to it. There is a distinct need for it.
Maybe not for the 700 emails I've written to photographers or for the obscene prices of chairs...
but I do believe that this time of "engagement" is indeed very necessary.

It's funny because I used to ask myself: If God wanted us to be with Him, if He loves us so much, if Earth is just this sin-rampant, horrendous place...why upon our salvation, upon our acceptance of His proposal, upon our realization of His sacrifice and want to be one with him...why can't we just be taken up into the heavens with him? Why do we have this transition period, why must we stay on Earth?

This is the church's engagement period to God, my engagement to Christ...
this inbetween, transition time between my acceptance of His proposal for eternal life in Him, and the fulfillment of that promise when I die.
Yes, at times it seems painful and bothersome...and all you really want to do is be with Him, to love and be loved by Him for the the rest of eternity...
but this engagement period IS pivotal, IS needed, IS worthwhile.

I'm learning all of this through my engagement to Steve. I've learned so much in just these last 2 months, and it's helping me realize, helping me see the purpose in my engagement to Christ.
I love it.
More later...I think it'll take a good lifetime or so to explore this concept ;)

questions for myself

I'm currently thinking of my goals for 2008 (as if writing my thesis, graduating, and getting married weren't enough!) One that sticks out in my brain is to honestly answer these questions every day:

1. Have I treasured Christ above all today?
2. Have I treasured Krissi above all but Christ?

I'm realizing that I can really hurt Krissi if I'm not careful, even with little things like my reactions to comments or my attitudes when I talk to her. Then, it's so easy to project the eventual annoyance I feel at her reactions onto her and think/act even worse towards her. This is crap; I'm supposed to treasure her and treat her as Christ did me - sacrificing for me, loving me unconditionally, protecting me, providing for me, all while being real yet strong. I want to always be able to answer these questions positively and authentically.

reclaiming manhood

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore it says, "When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men." (In saying, "He ascended," what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.) And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love (Ephesians 4: 1-16).

Again, the Word of God read is often more powerful than I ever dreamed. The first verse calls us to walk in a way that reflects the calling of our lives. This is significant, because it requires us to know what we are called to do, and then to allow that calling to permeate every part of our lives. I am called to be a pastor, a teacher, a writer, a missionary. I must live in a way that my life reflects this, from what I read to what I spend my money on.

Then, He gives me the outlines of my calling: to disciple the church in a way that promotes unity, maturity, and an intimate knowledge of God (note: these are interconnected; therefore, we cannot say 'Don't teach that because it will cause disunity' if the subject in question is scriptural). Likewise, we see a picture of how to grow a healthy church - by individual people growing in unity, maturity, and in intimacy with Christ! It all comes down not simply to our practices and methodology, but to the theology that drives that!

I want to use part of this passage as I teach my Sunday School class about manhood this spring. Manhood must be defined ONLY as striving toward our identities in Christ, not simply as machoism and football.

sometimes you're reminded

Sometimes, you're reminded of how the Christian heroes of old survived in an age without "Christian" bookstores. This is one of those times.

For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles—
Surely you have heard about the administration of God's grace that was given to me for you, that is, the mystery made known to me by revelation, as I have already written briefly. In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to men in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God's holy apostles and prophets. This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus.

I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.

Sometime's it is hard for me to read Paul (as in here in Ephesians 3), because it's easy to see him as arrogant and egotistical - unless you remember that he is writing to the Ephesians as their spiritual leader, in full belief that what he believes has been revealed to him by God. With that in mind, look at the second paragraph. This is our calling, and resounds with me because I am studying to be in ministry professionally. God allowed me, who had no right to be such a leader (regardless of my gifts, deeds, or abilities) to serve Him in this capacity, and He empowers me to do it.

It is also very important to note that He spreads His glory through the church. Despite what I feel from time to time about the church and its problems, God states here that the expression of His glroy to the world will primarily be the church. To me, this means:

• "nature" is not enough of a witness to fully reveal Christ to most people. I cannot be apathetic in my view of evangelism.
• If a church has fallen away, my upmost efforts should be to restore that fellowship to a correct view of Christ, rather than immediately going off and starting my own thing.
• Parachurch ministries are not enough - they should exist only to assist the local church.
• Efforts should not simply go into leading people to Christ, but to reproducing the church in a local context.

Then, Paul continues the thought he began at the beginning of the passage:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Krissi commented this morning that perhaps we misuse the concept faith. I think we mix it up with effort (if I would only try harder to do X, if I only trusted God more = if I had more faith...). One of the major themes of the entire book of Ephesians is God's grace towards us - we do not have the ability ourselves to come to Him OR to continue with Him. Look at the prayer: He glorifies the One whose power is at work within us, asks that the power may be strengthened, to the point that we have the power to comprehend God's love for us! This love is beyond mere knowledge, so we cannot study theology or the Bible or spiritual disciplines to understand it...it comes from Him.

I want to begin to pray "Lord, give me the ability to understand you better, the faith to dive deeper into your love."

when does family stop becoming family?

One of the things I have fought for since being called to vocational ministry has been my continual allegiance to my denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC). Regardless of my changing theological and methodological views, I steadfastly believe in the principles and values of the SBC. Why?

• The SBC has the Cooperative Fund, arguably one of the best missions-funding programs in existence
• The SBC has a great seminary system
• The SBC is amazing at providing children and students with missions education and opportunities
• The SBC values the local, autonomous church

Again, though some of my beilefs have changed over the years, I love these qualities of my denomination. Secondly, I love the people. I believe there is a vast group of people within the SBC who could blow the top off this world for the gospel if the Spirit moved among them...besides, these are the same people who raised me, who love me, who still go to the churches I have come to know and love. They are my family, my friends...I want them to have the passion for God's glory that I feel.

Yesterday was the first time I have truly questioned my calling to stay within the SBC. On Tuesday, the Missouri Baptist Convention (MBC) passed a resolution effective January 1st, 2008, ceasing Cooperative Program funding to all church plants affiliated with the Acts29 church planting network. Let me explain the circumstances surrounding this, and why I am shaken.

• The Journey is a church plant pastored by Darrin Patrick. Beginning in the early 2000s, the Journey grew from 30 to over 1200. The Journey is part of the Acts29 church Planting Network (of which Patrick is heavily involved in leadership).
• Acts29 is a trans-denominational church plant networking system that helps to direct funding for chruch plants from other local churches. They provide assesment services and training. They are Reformed in theology.
• The Journey recieved a $200,000 loan from the MBC to help fund their church plant.

Now the issue:

• The Journey began a program called Theology at the Bottleworks, which is exactly as it sounds: a theological discussion over drinks.
• MBC objected to this, to the point of calling for professor Mark DeVine of Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary to do a profile of the emrging church movement, of which they find Acts29 to be a member
• DeVine's paper can be found online, and his conclusions found Acts29 to be on the conservative side of the emerging church movement
• MBC then passed resolutions which obviously ignored DeVine's findings, associating Acts29 with streams within the emerging church movement which deny the substitutionary atonement of Christ
• This path has now led to the MBC denying funding to all Acts29-associated churches beginning January 1, 2008

Why do I have some issues with this? Shouldn't the MBC be able to decide to whom they give thier funding to?

The answer is yes. It's not that I have a problem with people choosing where to send funding. It is the why they make their choices that troubles me. DeVine's paper is spot on. I can do(and have done) the research myself the know that his conclusions are valid. And I cannot see within his paper how someone can make such resolutions. This makes me wonder: what is the real issue? Alcohol? I still don't agree with the decision, but why punish all the churches in the MBC for The Journey's choices (as Acts29's president has stated)? Is it about theological differences? If so, why the political war?

It is the ignorance that scares me. I hesitate to write this, because I am only 21, and arrogance and judgement can easily slip in here (though I pray this comes out of my passion for the SBC, and not to cause devision). But if a 21 year old can do the research necessary to see that churches affiliated with Acts29 are not a hinderance to but rather an asset to the SBC, I question why such decisions are upheld. I have not even mentioned the fact that Acts29 has a 99% success rate for planting churches (higher than NAMB's 70% rate), or that Dr. Ed Stetzer, Lifeway's chief missiologist, is on Acts29's board of directors.

At what point will the SBC stop being inclusive? When will we see the Word of God as our final standard, and the fruit of discipleship-making, new-believer baptizing, church-planting churches as our litmus test? I fear that someday the SBC may have no place for those who wish to engage our culture for the gospel. Including me.

when we fight

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i miss being old

This is The Favorite by Georgios Iakovidis. Today, after a hard day, I miss my grandfathers. I'm not sure if you had them, but mine were great. They weren't perfect by any means - in fact, often they were downright awnry - but something about them, maybe their smell, made me feel wiser for knowing them.

Yep, it's definitely the smell. Grandaddy (my father's father) lived 5 minutes up the road from me. He always wore Arimas aftershave and a plaid dress shirt, often with a mesh trucker cap (before they were cool). These clothes smelled of Arimas mixed with sweat and dust, which was the constant companion of anyone who attended the local flea-market religiously and refinished old furniture and tools. Grandaddy was quiet, yet he always had a hearty laugh and a good story ready. Through him I learned to fish, to cut grass, to buy things cheap and haggle for them if they weren't. He taught me to dress sharp, and to keep a handkerchief in my pocket. Jen, if you ever read this, you can thank Grandaddy for that handkerchief. Grandaddy was also a quiet pillar of our church, a deacon with a passion for going to visit people in the hospital who never seemed to speak out loud except when he was called on, at which point he would deliver the calmest and most collected speech of anyone in the building. There was almost something magical about him.

Papa (my mom’s father) was a rascal. Tested by harsh winters he endured as a naval mechanic at the South Pole, he was often bitter and cynical, speaking of things he had no knowledge of as if he were a Harvard professor, and with the assurance that he was right. Yet he was a pillar in his own right, the lynchpin that held a chaotic family together through the hardest struggles one must endure. I said this at his funeral, and it is no less true today than the first time I spoke it. I remember Papa’s hands. If Grandaddy’s aftershave was Arimas, Papa’s was sawdust. As a side job, Papa cut wood for people all over their small town. I’ve never seen someone that old in that good shape, regardless of what the doctors told him. He would, day after long day, haul wood from wherever to the side of his house, split logs three times his size with an assortment of chainsaws and aged machinery, and then take it back again. His language was peppered with bits of wisdom wound in jokes and orders, like “Eat your beans (or rice) – they put hair on your chest”. At that age, I dreaded the eventual hair that would put me at odds with the female-attracting portion of my gender, so much so that I shaved it off for years. You’d be proud of me, Papa.

That last sentence gives me pause, though. Would he? Would either of them, especially if they knew all of me - the parts that they themselves wouldn’t admit to anyone they had? I can be cynical with the best of them, and selfish to boot. Grandaddy’s quiet nature fell on deaf (or already talking) ears – I long to be someone who will shut up long enough to listen again. And Grandaddy had long bouts with depression, too. I never understood them until I started having them.

Look at the picture. A child has no reason to learn about pipes, and her parents probably weren’t jumping for joy at this newfound fascination. But that’s what grandpas are for. Somehow, getting old pushes them past the wall of being correct, or safe, or accepted. It gives them wisdom, the wisdom that comes from seeing things from the other side, from knowing that life is closing in on them. Grandaddy was an artist, and his pictures hung around his house – though no one else knew. Papa wasn’t great with money (and this illustrates that) but he bought a motorcycle at 70 and swore he’d ride it if it killed him. And he never stopped dreaming of that WWII Jeep he always wanted.

Part of me misses being old. Not the old of authority, or power, or status. No, I miss what I haven’t tasted yet – holding hands with my wife and telling her she’s still the prettiest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, smelling the cold of the morning and the age of my things, teaching my grandson in days what it took me a lifetime to master. To look on life and say it is good.

breaking down walls

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Oh the mystery of our God, who in some way (and this sounds almost blasphemous to say) sets us with Christ in the heavens. Ephesians 2:4-10 shows us that we have been (notice the past tense) seated with Christ. What have I done to be honored in heaven? But the past tense is important, for it is not for something we will do, but for what we have already done - nothing, except being saved through God's grace. I am honored for being a vessel for the grace of God to be manifest.

One question: are we God's workmanship (in this context) because of our salvation or because of our creation? The latter seems to imply that God has prepared good works for all people to do.

Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (that done in the body by the hands of men)— remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Ephesians 2:11-22 begins to move into something I've been thinking alot about lately: cultural studies. We often create "divides" by which we seperate people into the good and the bad. Even more often, we do this at church. We add more commandments and regulations to replace those which we lose because of Christ. Where is our peace? I want to find how we can make culture not about dividing, but sharing, delving into the 'foundation' which we are a part of.

Last note: is the final you plural or singular?

good people and bad people

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

So, this morning krissi was slightly fried due to the start of her finals, so we didn't get far. But in Ephesians 2:1-3, we see a diachotomy built between those following Satan/self/world, and those who are no longer acting in this way. I struggle with this diachotomy because you think of so many people who are very good people, who are compassionate and helpful and, well...good. But when you look at the human race as a whole, you see this concept easily, how we cannot help but pursue selfish ends (which themselves end with everything eventually falling apart), and how people who do not know God can nonetheless emulate qualities of Christ.

'children of wrath' = those born under the wrath of God? those born with the wrath of God and the curse of sin upon them?

thanks, wisdom, hope, and authority

For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love
toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you inmy prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

Here in Ephesians 1:15-23, Krissi and I realized we don't nearly thank God for
the Christian friends He has given us. They have helped us through so much in
our lives, from counseling, to stretching us and exposing us to new things
(literally our paths in life!). What if we were to cultivate a life of
thankfulness for the people God gives us? What would that look like?

Krissi
saw the following progression:

1. "may give you a spirit of wisdom..." God grants us the grace by which we progressively know Him better
2. "the hope to which He has called you" This knowledge allows us to persevere (and continue to know Him even more) through our sufferings, because we have hope in Christ

We wonder about the final sentence. Possibilities:

• Christ has all authority over creation (all things)
• Christ has given this authority to the church
• Christ has authority in all things pertaining to the church

Amplified Bible and Message paraphrases of v22-23:

And He has put all things under His feet and has appointed Him the universal and supreme Head of the church [a headship exercised throughout the church], Which is His body, the fullness of Him Who fills all in all [for in that body lives the full measure of Him Who makes everything complete, and Who fills everything everywhere with Himself].

He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything. At the center of all this, Christ rules the church. The church, you see, is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church. The church is Christ's body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.

Apparantly these translations seem to side with the church being headed over by Christ. Yet it also seems to position the church in a unique role of authority within the world, if Christ, the author of creation and ruler over all, resides in us.

and evening and morning were the first day

This morning, my fiance and I studied this passage, found in Ephesians 1:1-14.

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,

To the saints who are in Ephesus, and are faithful in Christ Jesus: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might
be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

It was wonderful. We had breakfast, prayed together, and then studied God's Word. How long has it been since the center of our relationship was the Word and prayer! I've prayed and hungered for this idea for so long, only to not realize how to grasp it. I thank God for the accountability in the Word Krissi is providing. My prayers:

• That this would be a thing of unrelenting importance for both of us, uninterrupted by homework or sleep.
• That we would make prayer even more of a priority, so mcuh so that our time becomes one of intercession for our friends, marriage, and the lost.
• That we would grow closer to Christ and each other through a committment to the Word of God.

As far as the passage, here were our conversations and questions:

1. Grace and peace is central to all of Paul's greetings. It seems that an acceptance of the mercy and gift of God in Jesus, and the obedience to the Holy Spirit guiding our lives, is Paul's wish for all, and that in those interactions, peace would result.
2. What are the spiritual blessings we have been blessed with through Christ? Heaven? The Holy Spirit? A relationship with God and others?
3. Ah, predestination. Who knows? The passage does seem to push, however, God's will and purpose for His glory. Grace also serves as the means to accomplish this. We talked about John Piper's "best case scenerio" idea, whereby God's actualized will is the reality that will gain Him the most glory and therefore us the most happiness.
4. The big question we had was the speakers of the passage. Paul wrote it to the Ephesians, but he often uses 'we' in the above passage, and then at the end says 'you also'. Does this mean that the former ideas do not apply to the Ephesians? Did God only predestine the apostles and Paul?

Ideas for pondering...