love has chosen you and me

CORH for 9/29

2008-09-30T09:52:00.006-04:00

(My friends and I began a conversation of scripture over the summer, nicknamed "The Church of Rediculous Heresy" for our differing theological views views and struggles with our churches. I'd like to start blogging the amazing truths God is reveaing to me from His Word through these meetings.)

Last week we began a new text, the book of 1 Thessalonians. We chose 1 Thessalonians primarily because it can often be one of the "throwaway books" of the NT, lodged between the powerhouses of Paul (Romans - Colossians) and Paul's pastoral letters. We started with chapter 1, and Laura floored me with the realization that so many of our firends have fallen away from the faith. Combining that with going to a hookah lounge with some of Krissi's old friends, and I have been overcome lately with sadness over my college career - I spent so much of my time with Christians, and even some of them have fallen away, not to mention the non-Christians I didn't spend time with. That sets the context for this week.

"For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming to you was not in vain. But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much conflict. For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed— God is witness. Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us." (1 Thessalonians 2:1-8)

One of the first things to hit me (because of my recent wonderings, no doubt) was the frequency in both of these first 2 chapters of "the gospel of God" or "the word of God". The passage is basically a defense of Paul's intentions in sharing the gospel with people. Aaron helped break it down into a sermon-like outline:

message
motivation
method

First, the message of the gospel must be pure. Of course, this is something at the CORH that isn't completely solid (we have a number of denominations and a wide range of beliefs), but for me, this speaks to the basic tennants of Christianity. We must soak ourselves in the Word of God (4) so that we do not lose hold of the gospel.

Second, the motivation behind sharing the gospel must be godly. This was the big one we discussed. Paul assures them he does not seek to sow error among them (3), and he repeats an argument he uses elsewhere where he does not take money or position from those he leads so that he cannot be accused of preaching for greed (5-6). We talked about how Paul protects the gospel by doing this, and how we might also protect the gospel. This discussion revolved around keeping our "witness" pure (integrity), but that has often become churchspeak for simply living a life where we don't air our dirty laundry. Instead, we spoke about being transparent - attempting to seek a moral and holy life, but being open about our failures. Likewise, verse 8 crushed us. Paul writes this letter months or years removed from his time with the Thessalonians. I am mere months away from my time at FSU, and geographically I am closer than I have ever been. Yet my passion for that campus has fallen off a cliff. Paul, however, is "affectionately desirous", like a mother for her children, of them. You see in the beginning of almost every one of his letters that he prays desperately for these flocks. This is awesome! I am still turning over in my mind a conversation I had with Aaron about the motivations for helping people (works as gateway to the gospel?).

Third, the method of sharing the gospel is contextual to the area and the people, so long as it does not compromise the first 2. Again, verse 8 knocks it out of the park. Paul packages the gospel with his very self. He invests himself for years with people, working with them, struggling with them, and teaching them. Laura told a story about someone going to seminary in New Orleans who moved into one of the worst neighborhoods in the city and invested his life there because he loved those people. Again, this shames my ideas about moving into Frenchtown. I believe Christ calls us, when we are told to take up our cross, to find the specific sacrifice that will reach people for Jesus that we can do, just as His situation called for Him to take on sin for all of us.

All in all, I must not lose my heart for Tallahassee, and for our lost friends. One thing I resolved to do this week is to not repeat this mistake when we move to St. Louis. I want to get involved in some class or hobby where I'm not surrounded by Christians 24/7, and stick with it. I want to fall in love with that city instead of simply wanting to move on again.

just when i thought it was safe to go back in the water...

2008-09-19T08:45:00.004-04:00

(This is a post from Michael Spencer on his blog http://www.internetmonk.com/. Michael has a long history with Southern Baptists, and God has used him in many ways in my life. He writes in light of a new proclamation by the SBC - that 2010-2020 will be a 'decade of evangelism'.)

Evangelism Won’t Cure It
September 18th, 2008 by iMonk

It’s a rant. Adjust your volume and thinking accordingly.

My denomination is about to have a ten year emphasis on evangelism. I’ve been a Southern Baptist since birth. As far as I know, my denomination has never had any other emphasis than evangelism. My denomination is more interested in evangelism than any other denomination in existence or Christian history. Its entire apparatus of denominational machinery is devoted to the promotion of evangelism. Its denominational publications and web sites are basically all evangelism, all the time. Oh there’s the occasional break for the culture war and to promote the new Kirk Cameron movie, but no one is missing the SBC’s concern with evangelism.

I’ve lived through more evangelism training programs than I can name.

I’ve been part of more evangelism emphases than I can list.

I’ve seen every kind of evangelism gimmick that the mind can conceive of brought out with a straight face.

I’ve seen the ethics and manners of normal human interaction go out the window in favor of confrontational tactics on beaches, on sidewalks and in public.

I grew up believing the entire Christian life was about soul winning and that if you couldn’t turn any conversation into an evangelistic conversation with closure, then you were a backslider.

I’ve been through evangelistic invitations at church, at youth group, at revivals, at youth revivals, at stadium events, at concerts, at ball games, at Bible studies, at Vacation Bible school, at movies, at meals and everywhere else.

My denomination is always starting a prayer emphasis in the cause of evangelism. We actually have an office of spiritual awakening, if you can believe it. I’m sure there’s a five year plan to move the hand of God somewhere.

I’ve heard thousands and thousands of evangelistic sermons. I’ve heard invitations that made me want to dig a tunnel to China.

I’m been exposed to guilt, manipulation, entertainment, scare tactics, lies, exaggeration, bribery and threats in the name of evangelism.

I’m part of a denomination that regularly baptizes five, six and seven year olds, then has the nerve to point at infant baptizing Christians and criticize them.

I’m part of a denomination that has rebaptized and rebaptized and rebaptized, again and again. And counted each one somewhere.

A few years ago, the baptism numbers started dropping for Southern Baptists. This year was the lowest in recent history. The problem we’re told, of course, is that we’re not evangelistic enough.

I want to put forward another theory. Just call it a hunch.

I think our baptism numbers are dropping because ALL WE ARE IS EVANGELISTIC.

We don’t want to talk about anything else because if we do, we’re going have to admit we’re in very, very bad shape.

We need to have healthy churches. (With all 9 Marks.)

We need to have a clear Gospel message. (What’s being preached in SBC pulpits in many places can hardly be categorized using normal English.)

We need meaningful church membership.

We need pastors who can grow disciples.

We need Christians on mission in the world where God’s placed them.

We need to love people.

We need to live authentically human lives.

We need a missional mindset for going into the world.

We need to see our prevailing sins, like materialism, classism, racism and involvement in the prosperity Gospel.

We need to repent of our pragmatism, because it’s not true that if just one walks forward, everything we did was right.

We’re proud and sometimes we’re almost unteachable.

When a younger leader does something right in our denomination, chances are he’s in trouble.

Thousands of our churches are two generations from closing the doors.

Thousands of our churches need to either stop abusing pastors and their families or shut the doors.

We need to realize God isn’t adding many to us because we’ve got problems.

Every time Southern Baptists see some evidence that the ship is lurching, they go and attempt to get more people to join the cruise.

We’re like a hospital with real problems. Doctor problems. Staff problems. Quality problems. Effectiveness problems. People aren’t getting well. Some are getting a lot worse. Some aren’t making it. And we are concerned……about getting more patients.

Millions of Southern Baptists apparently don’t even exist.

Millions of other Southern Baptists would leave their churches for $5 and couldn’t write a three sentence paragraph on why anyone should join their church.

I love what the SBC does right. I really do. My denomination can be awesome at some things, especially in the area of cooperative missions.

I’m not dogging evangelists. I spend a significant amount of my time in evangelistic ministry. It’s one reason I will remain an evangelical.

Our denomination has some wonderful churches and some great people.

But let’s just say it: We’re Johnny One Notes on evangelism because we don’t want to admit how flawed, hurting, confused and increasingly dysfunctional we are.

We need evangelism in its place, and that won’t happen till we stop and look at the whole, not just the parts we want to blame.

And 100,000 more baptisms won’t solve those problems.

...and the Hopi will dance

2008-09-02T16:12:00.001-04:00

(Steve’s note: Currently, I am undergoing something that in years past I would have considered a spiritual crisis. Now, those same feelings are more encouraging and thought-provoking than downright hurtful. This realization helps me write about them – normally, I struggle with blogging, journaling, and most forms of recording my feelings because my muse is most often fueled by depression, anger, and cynicism. I pray these portrayals of experiences concerning my faith are not written in arrogance, but rather as an expression of joys to come.)

When I graduated from high school, God was in the process of shattering my world. I had always held the highest regards for my pastor, my church, the Bible, and all other foundational expressions of authority within Christianity, and in the waning years of my high school experience, I had come to question them all. A number of books aided me as I attempted to redefine the faith I had held to all my life. Among these was A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren, which I read along with Don Miller’s Blue Like Jazz on a plane to Maryland and the mission trip which would provide much of the direction my life would take for the next few years.

McLaren is considered by many to be a heretic now, yet in the summer of 2004 he was a psychic, having already read my mind and put my thoughts to print. A New Kind of Christian explained the transition taking place within Christendom between modernity and postmodernism, sounding a shot again that I had already discerned echoes of in the cracks of the armor of my own faith experience.

One passage in the book (it is important to note that the theology of the text is told inside the framework of a short novel chronicling the conversations between a doubting pastor and a science teacher) narrated by Pastor Dan tells of a conversation he once had with a group of Native American pastors. Following a time of fellowship and old-time singing, Dan asked the men if any of them ever used elements of their Native American heritages in their worship – he was met with silence. Eventually, one brother spoke out and said he still experienced ‘the sweats’, believing that stripping down and meditating in the burning conditions allowed him to be transparent before God. Another man countered this expression, saying that the first was participating in synchronism – the merging of faiths, which is considered heresy. Yet immediately after this, with tears, the same man recanted this accusation, stating that his first response was “the seminary talking through him”. Another man gave a history about his people, the Hopi, and their use of dance as prayer. His deepest desire was to someday lead his people in a dance to their Savior. McLaren went on in the book to explain the crime European Christian missionaries had perpetrated throughout modernity: equating right Christian teaching with a specific, European style of worship and culture. Thus, to become a Christian was to sing Puritan hymns, or to pray in Latin, or to dress in Western garb. This worldview also saw elements of any other religion as demonic by association – Buddhists who become Christians must no longer meditate, and Hopi Christians must never dance.

This story still sends chills down my spine, and draws me back in time to an experience I had as a teenager. Throughout my schooling, I had been active with the Boy Scouts of America, from my time as a lowly Cub Scout all the way up to achieving my Eagle during my sophomore year. Almost every month I would be somewhere in the woods, camping, hiking, canoeing, and growing into a man. Boy Scouts are organized into troops of boys led by a scoutmaster. I must have been 14 or 15, because I remember my dad still drove me everywhere, by my troop’s scoutmaster Mr. John died suddenly of cancer, and his brother Fred took his place. While Mr. John had been a lighthearted family man, Mr. Fred was a weathered man, quiet and mysterious. He was also deeply in touch with his Native American heritage – he often traveled to see his relatives on reservations and met with other men and women to sing and dance. Mr. Fred was also probably the first person I knew who openly practiced a religion very different from my own (Judaism and Islam being somewhat similar). Whenever he prayed before a meal or a ceremony, Mr. Fred thanked the Great Spirit, and talked heavily about his ancestors.

As most scoutmasters do, Mr. Fred shared many of his interests with us, including his heritage. One day he invited a group of us over to his house to participate in a drum circle: a group of men beating a large drum in unison while singing in a Native American tongue. They taught us everything from staying on rhythm to the nature of their music - I was surprised to learn that many of the songs they sang were prayers. The thing that stuck out to me, though, was their preparation ceremony. The men would each take a handful of fresh tobacco and sprinkle it over the drumhead, sometimes saying words as they did so. I think I was afraid to touch the tobacco, but I did something odd that astounds the older me today: I knelt and prayed over the drumhead silently. The men seemed to respect this, and we proceeded to drum and sing for hours.

I would go on to participate in this way many times during my Scout career, even once getting the opportunity to dance. However, my most vivid memory was when a younger Scout watched my own version of the preparation ceremony. He told the kind Indian man leading that particular drum circle that I wasn’t doing it right, to which he said “He’s doing it in his own way”. My favorite song we sang had a chorus that went:

God I’m crying,
God I’m crying,
God I’m crying,
Here my cry

McLaren’s conclusions floored me. He said that Christ was a Savior of all cultures, and that when He reveals himself to a people, the gospel does not eliminate their culture, but simply the evil within it. As such, we have much to learn from all cultures through Jesus’ eyes. I think back upon my experiences around the drum. Was I worshipping my God alongside others who were worshipping false ones? Yes. How and when such things are appropriate I’m still unsure. Still, I was able to participate in the beauty of a culture worshipping the Living God. My friends and I discussed once the passage in Revelation which states that every nation, tribe, and tongue will worship the Lamb in heaven. It has been argued that this is to prove that all men had access to God, that He forsook no people. However, I like to think it is because in that moment, God will be worshipped in every way possible: angels will sing, the living creatures and the elders will bow down, creation will declare the glory of the Lord, and every culture will praise Him. I’ll be drumming…and the Hopi will dance.

i miss you and dread you

2008-05-13T13:29:00.000-04:00

A few years ago, Christian researcher George Barna published a controversial book entitled Revolution. Drawing on observations from his years as a pollster, Barna described what he believed to be the emergence of a new type of Christian. Calling them “revolutionaries”, he described them as “…devout followers of Jesus Christ who are serious about their faith, who are constantly worshipping and interacting with God, and whose lives are centered on their belief in Christ, [with] complete dedication to being thoroughly Christian by viewing every moment of life through a spiritual lens…making every decision in light of Biblical principles. These are individuals who are determined to glorify God every day through every thought, word, and deed in their lives.”

How is this any different than what a Christian is supposed to be? It’s not…but that wasn’t what made Revolution controversial. Barna observed that this group, numbering in the millions, was leaving the church to preserve their faith. Not rejecting megachurches in favor of organic house church models, not embracing ancient-future emergent conversational churches, not joining new monastic structures, or any of the other trends present in Christianity today. Just leaving.

When I first read this book, I had major problems with Barna’s analysis that this is a positive expression of faith, and that they are simply rejecting archaic and corrupted structure, not Jesus. Sure, I thought, these people may love Jesus and say they are worshipping him, but leaving the church is like having a best friend but walking out of the room the second his wife walks in. It may work once, but if he loves his wife, after awhile he’ll begin to wonder whether the problem is really his wife or if it’s you. Scripture tells us to not forsake the assembly, and that faith is something to be experienced communally (Paul became a church planter, not a self-help guru or a desert hermit). I still hold to that position, I promise. I don’t think you can be a growing Christian if you are not involved in a community of other believers, strengthening each other, holding each other accountable, learning under the authority of Godly elders, sharing communion and baptism, and following a vision for spreading Christ’s name everywhere.

But I can see their point.

Right now, I’m struggling with many aspects of my faith. Most of them can be traced back to my various experiences with the church:

-Churches that grow because they are a mile wide and a quarter of an inch deep
-Praise music that sounds as if it were written by Oprah
-Visions for church growth that involve building enough buildings to earn a separate zip code
-Corporate prayer sessions that become mini-sermon series about everyone else’s problems
-Doing things a certain way because ‘it’s worked in the past’
-Church programming that exhausts its members, muddles the vision of the church, and guilt- trips people into thinking that a GOOD Christian is in church whenever the doors are open, instead of living a life of witness in front of the world
-Church softball
-The lack of quality in everything with Jesus’ name on it
-The belief that such cheap cultural rip-offs will convince teenagers that Christianity is ‘cool’
-Children’s ministry that majors on games, hand-motion led songs, prizes, badges, and musicals instead of the Gospel

This morning I told Krissi I missed church very much…and dreaded it just as much. Coming from someone who has dedicated his life to serving the God of the universe THROUGH that same church, that sucks.

what scares me about what i believe...

2008-05-06T09:19:00.001-04:00

I found this in Slate magazine today. Telling?

Pop Goes Christianity
The deep contradictions of Christian popular culture.
By Hanna Rosin

One night, a couple of years ago, I walked in on a group of evangelical college boys sitting on a bed watching The Daily Show. I felt alarmed, and embarrassed, as if I had caught them reading Playboy or something else they had to be shielded from. Jon Stewart, after all, spends at least one-quarter of his show making fun of people like them. But they eagerly invited me in. I soon learned that they watched the show every night it was on, finals or no finals. So strong was their devotion to Jon Stewart that I was tempted to ask: If Jesus came back on a Tuesday night at 11, would you get off the bed?

Over time, I came to understand this as a symptom of a larger phenomenon: evangelicals' deeply neurotic relationship with popular culture. Whether or not they were the butt of all of Stewart's jokes seemed irrelevant to them. The point was that the high priest of political comedy spent a lot of time thinking about them. Once, after I'd met Jon Stewart, they all crowded around and asked the same question: What does he really think of us?

At this point in history, American evangelicals resemble the Israelites at various dangerous moments in the Old Testament: They are blending into the surrounding heathen culture, and having ever more trouble figuring out where it ends and they begin. In politics, and in business, they've mostly gone ahead and joined the existing networks. With pop culture, they've instead created their own enormous "parallel universe," as Daniel Radosh calls it in his rich exploration of the realm, Rapture Ready! A Christian can now buy books, movies, music—and anything else lowbrow to middlebrow—tailor-made for his or her sensibilities. Worried that American popular culture leads people—and especially teenagers—astray, the Christian version is designed to satisfy all the same needs in a cleaner form.

The problem is that purity boundaries are hard to police in the Internet age. Show a kid a Christian comedian, and soon he's likely to discover that the guy is a pale imitation of this much funnier guy—Jon Stewart—who's not a Christian at all, and doesn't even like Christians. Which might then lead to a whole new set of anxieties, such as: Why are Christians so constitutionally unfunny? And, what is the point of Christian culture, anyway?

In the '80s, Christians were known as the boycotters, refusing to see movies or buy products that offended them. They felt about commercial culture much the way a Marxist might: that it was a decadent glorification of money and meaningless human relationships. Then, sometime during the '90s, when conservative evangelicals started coming out of their shells, they took a different tack. The boycotters became coopters and embarked on the curious quest to enlist America's crassest material culture in the service of spiritual growth.

Most non-Christians are aware that there is something called Christian rock. We've all had the slightly unsettling experience of pausing the car radio on a pleasant, unfamiliar ballad until we realized … Ahhh. That's not her boyfriend she's mooning over! But few of us have any idea of how truly extensive this so-called subculture is. Reading Radosh's book is like coming across another planet hidden somewhere on Earth where everything is just exactly like it is here except blue or made out of plastic. Every American pop phenomenon has its Christian equivalent, no matter how improbable. And Radosh seems to have experienced them all.

At a Christian retail show Radosh attends, there are rip-off trinkets of every kind—a Christian version of My Little Pony and the mood ring and the boardwalk T-shirt ("Friends don't let friends go to hell"). There is Christian Harlequin and Christian chick lit and Bibleman, hero of spiritual warfare. There are Christian raves and Christian rappers and Christian techno, which is somehow more Christian even though there are no words. There are Christian comedians who put on a Christian version of Punk'd, called Prank 3:16. There are Christian sex-advice sites where you can read the biblical case for a strap-on dildo or bondage (liberation through submission). There's a Christian planetarium, telling you the true age of the universe, and my personal favorite—Christian professional wrestling, where, by the last round, "Outlaw" Todd Zane sees the beauty of salvation.

At some point, Radosh asks the obvious question: Didn't Jesus chase the money changers out of the temple? In other words, isn't there something wrong with so thoroughly commercializing all aspects of faith? For this, the Christian pop-culture industry has a ready answer. Evangelizing and commercializing have much in common. In the "spiritual marketplace" (as it's called), Christianity is a brand that seeks to dominate. Like Coke, it wants to hold onto its followers and also win over new converts. As with advertisers, the most important audience is young people and teenagers, who are generally brand loyalists. Hence, Bibleman and Christian rock are the spiritual equivalent of New Coke. Christian trinkets—a WWJD bracelet, a "God is my DJ" T-shirt—function more like Coca-Cola T-shirts or those cute stuffed polar bears. They telegraph to the community that the wearer is a proud Christian and that this is a cool thing to be—which should, in theory, invite eager curiosity.

Straightforward, if somewhat crude, merchandizing so far. But there is also another level of questions, which the creators of Christian culture have a much harder time answering: What does commercializing do to the substance of belief, and what does an infusion of belief do to the product? When you make loving Christ sound just like loving your boyfriend, you can do damage to both your faith and your ballad. That's true when you create a sanitized version of bands like Nirvana or artists like Jay-Z, too: You shoehorn a message that's essentially about obeying authority into a genre that's rebellious and nihilistic, and the result can be ugly, fake, or just limp.
The Christian rockers Radosh interviews are always torn between the pressure not to lead their young audience astray and the drive to make good music. Mark Allan Powell, a professor who teaches a class on contemporary Christian music at Trinity Lutheran Seminary, describes the predicament for Radosh: Imagine the Good Rubber Tire Co. came out with an awesome rock song that just happened to be about tires. Musicians wouldn't want to play it because they'd think, "We're being used," Powell explains. Creative Christian types find themselves in a similar bind: They want to make good, authentic music. But they are also enlisted in a specific mission which confines their art.

The entertainers in Radosh's book complain about watchdog groups that count the number of times a song mentions Jesus or about the lockstep political agenda a Christian audience expects. They complain about promoting an "adolescent theology" of Christian rock, as one calls it, where they "just can't get over how darned cool it was that Jesus sacrificed himself." In his interview with Radosh, Powell pulled out an imitation of a 1982 New Wave pop song with the lyrics; "You'll have to excuse us/ We're in love with Jesus." This, he explained, was the equivalent of a black-velvet painting of Elvis. Only it's more offensive, because it's asking the listener to base his whole life around an insipid message and terrible quality music.

For faith, the results can be dangerous. A young Christian can get the idea that her religion is a tinny, desperate thing that can't compete with the secular culture. A Christian friend who'd grown up totally sheltered once wrote to me that the first time he heard a Top 40 station he was horrified, and not because of the racy lyrics: "Suddenly, my lifelong suspicions became crystal clear," he wrote. "Christian subculture was nothing but a commercialized rip-off of the mainstream, done with wretched quality and an apocryphal insistence on the sanitization of reality."

Striking a balance between reverence and hip relevance can be a near-impossible feat. Christian comedians, for example, border on subversive, especially when making fun of themselves. In one episode of Prank 3:16, the pranksters fake the Rapture and throw their victim into a panic because she's afraid she's been left behind. With true comedic flair, they're flirting with opposition and doubt, and even cruelty. But "the Christian is supposed to be secure in the loving hand of the almighty God," one of them tells Radosh. So, even if they don't sanitize, they're afraid to step over into the brutal, dirty truth comedy thrives on.

The new generation of Christians is likely to be a different kind of audience. Raised on iPods and downloadable music, they find it difficult truly to commit to the idea of a separate Christian pop culture. They might watch Jon Stewart or Pulp Fiction and also listen to the Christian band Jars of Clay, assuming the next album is any good. They are much more critical consumers and excellent spotters of schlock. The creators of Christian pop culture may just adapt and ease up on the Jesus-per-minute count, and artistic quality might show some improvement. But in my experience, where young souls are at stake, Christian creators tend to balk. It's always been a stretch to defend Christian pop culture as the path to eternal salvation. Now, they may have to face up to the fact that it's more like an eternal oxymoron.

moving in

2008-04-11T13:32:00.000-04:00

This week, Krissi and I signed the lease on our first place together. After running around Tallahassee, seeing apartment after apartment, we answered an ad for an old, refurbished 1930’s cottage. Tin roof, hardwood bathroom floor, almost no storage space, the works. Krissi’s smile has practically been glued to her face since our first visit to the property. I liked it, but later I warmed up to it even more. Why? Because it’s located on the edge of ‘Frenchtown’.

The ghetto.

One of my best friends, Ronnie, and I once had a dream together of moving to New Orleans, going to seminary, and living it a poverty-stricken area of town. We were motivated by his desire to be an urban youth pastor and my experiences with ‘inner-city missions’. In those experiences, I realized the inefficiency and somewhat inauthentic nature of people who take time away from their well-to-do jobs to work in places of suffering, only to return to those jobs relatively unaffected by their experience. These mission projects usually had little lasting impact, because the very nature of ministering to people involves entering into a relationship with them, and this cannot be done if life is not somehow shared together. One time I was involved in a week-long project leading up to a block party for a particular complex; God blessed the event in mighty ways but I was somewhat heartbroken as I left, for I knew that if the church we had partnered with for the event did not return and invest in these people, no lasting ministry would flourish.

Ronnie and I both met girls (whom we plan to marry), which threw a large wrench in our plans (girls do that sometimes, don’t they? Sorry Krissi, I couldn’t resist). But the dream was still there – join a community you could invest in, minister to your neighbors as friends first and statistics never. With our cottage, we’re excited to begin.

People (especially our parents) are concerned about our safety and financial situations, so I’d like to speak to those concerns for a moment:

Are we safe? Yes. Our house is in the interior of a u-shaped ring of similar cottages, meaning we are not easily visible to passer-bys. Our neighbor has a large watch-dog. I am installing extra locks as well to alleviate anyone’s concerns. Honestly though, whenever urban ministry is attempted, it is a risk. You don’t buy tons of electronics, you develop a good relationship with others (who look out for you), and you trust that God has placed you there for a reason.

Financially, the house is both a God-send and a ministry. Rent is less expensive than any of the cookie-cutter blank apartments we’ve viewed, and our lease is month to month, which means that though we have to begin renting this summer (May rather than July or August), we’ll be able to end our lease the moment we move to New Orleans. We’ll be able to save some money, and the rest we’ll turn around and put back into the place. Yes, we’ll only be living there 6 months. Still, we feel very strongly about this being a ministry. Our landlady already knows we’re Christians, our neighbors will, and we want the entire experience of us living in this cottage to reflect Christ’s love. That means leaving the house better than we found it, with no strings attached. Think of it as an investment of a different kind. Plus, I get to be “Extreme Makeover” husband-to-be for a summer.

We’re so excited to have a place to call our own that has culture to it that we can give our own flair to. This cottage will allow us to bring others into the Frenchtown community who would normally avoid the area, both to help us clean and decorate the house, for ministry, and simply to hang out. We’ve already had people requesting “Paint and Pizza” parties (I know who you are and won’t forget!), and moving into a smaller place will force both Krissi and (to a MUCH larger extent) I to downsize our possessions, making us more mobile and able to follow God’s will. I want to make it a point that this is not us “slumming” (a Victorian practice where rich people, for entertainment or to ease their consciences, traveled into London’s poorer districts to see how “the other side” lived). We want to learn here, to love here.

Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of the Bible, The Message, sums it up in John 1:14:

“The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood.”

Here’s the deal: this isn’t about trumpeting our praise. It’s about glorifying God for coming through, and it’s a request that you would keep us accountable. If this is God’s will for us, we can’t simply live here…we have to be here.

n.t. wright

2008-03-28T09:46:00.000-04:00

“The whole world is God’s holy land. At the moment the world appears as a place of suffering and sorrow as well as of power and beauty. But God is reclaiming it. That’s what Jesus death and resurrection were all about. And we are called to be part of that reclaiming. One day all creation will be rescued from slavery, from the corruption, decay, and death which deface its beauty, destroy its relationships, remove the sense of God’s presence from it, and make it a place of injustice, violence, and brutality. That is the message of rescue, of “salvation,” at the heart of” the gospel." - N.T. Wright, Simply Christian

tuesday and wednesday

2008-03-26T23:48:00.000-04:00

My contributions to [Forgotten] Broadway week for Tuesday and Wednesday. Enjoy.

forgotten broadway

2008-03-25T12:31:00.000-04:00

So, my friend Leshay, the Associate Director of FSU's BCM, is doing this thing called BROADWAY WEEK, a week of celebration of America's musicals. Each day is a different musical, and participants are encouraged to dress up in that musical's style to celebrate. I think it's a great idea...but my dear Leshay has forgotten all of the IMPORTANT musicals out there! Therefore, to correct her error (and since I can't be there in person due to work), I offer my own take on Broadway Week. I'll be posting once each day this week.

quick update

2008-03-04T15:39:00.000-05:00

A quick update on the 2008 Goals project:

1. 5k - I am consistantly running a mile, but I cannot seem to get over this mark without stopping. My current routine is to run a mile, walk a half-mile, and run a second half-mile.
2. Bible - Leviticus (where I always seem to struggle) was bogging me down, so I've diverged to read Joshua and the Timothys; God is really teaching this young pastor-to-be through Paul's exhortations to Timothy.
3. Thesis - Had a hard diversion (scrapping 14 pages), but we're back on track...just a bit faster than I'd hoped for. It's due in less than a month.
4. Marriage - Planning is going well, but saving has to wait until the summer, when I can put in some OT.
5. Photographer - No progress.
6. Rafting - Aaron has suggested doing a full weekend? Maybe.
7. Bench - I hit 115 without too much difficulty the other day.
8. Memorize - No progress, but I'm thinking about switching my book to 2 Timothy.
9. Mission - No progress; because of the money issue, this one scares me more than the others. Maybe I'm thinking too long distance.
10. Journal - Picked it up for the first time since the cruise yesterday.

whiteboard envy and teaching-preaching

2008-03-03T13:15:00.000-05:00

This is Rob Bell, best known for his Nooma videos and book Velvet Elvis. Some of his theology can be shaky at times. However, I have seen few people who have such an awesome teaching approach as Bell.

2 examples:

The previously mentioned Nooma videos are a phenomenon that must be seen to believed. These mini-sermons on DVD feature Bell speaking for 8-15 minutes. The amazing thing is that they are the epitome of a sermon illustration. Bell is often observing or participating in the environment, culture, or activity used as the illustration, complete with flawless editing and music. Topics range from Christianity to creation to everyday activity, but almost all include Bell's trademark (if controversial) immersion in Hebrew scholarship and narrative theology. Bell ends each talk, which only has enough time to cover one topic anyway, with a summary statement/challenge. The finished product is a message that drips with understanding.

On the other side of the coin, Bell's recent Everything Spiritual speaking tour (viewed above) is literally him onstage with a massive whiteboard and nothing else for close to 2 hours. The fact that a man can captivate a young audience with theology for 2 hours using notes scribbled on a whitebaord is astounding. It speaks to his ability to structure things in a narrative style. It is this style that gives me whiteboard envy.

Some observations from Bell's board:

You can't see this from the picture, but when I say massive whiteboard, I mean massive (stretching the entire length of the stage). Bell begins at the left, writes something to the right of center, but is careful to link the ideas using what he scribbles between them. This allows someone to read the completed whiteboard (a copy of which is packaged in the DVD version of the talk) with little explanation. On one hand, you must have good handwriting/write big/know your structure beforehand. However, this lets someone keep up with the entire train of thought, without losing you or asking if you can go back a few Powerpoint slides.
Bell uses pictures, arrows, circles, underlines, etc. These things help to emphasize points during the lesson, but because he is the one doing the emphasizing, and not a Powerpoint programmed slide, there is much more spontinaity and originality seen by the hearers.
Going back to seeing the complete narrative on a board: Bell is able to gesture using the enitre narrative, instead of having to isolate himself to a certain time period/set of events/point.
He doesn't stand in one place or look like a traditional "wandering" pastor.

Teaching with a large whiteboard is something I would like to try. Again, it has its drawbacks (my major concerns are my handwriting and the ability to see it from the back of the church), but the potential is awesome - it fits into something I am passionate about: that a part of worship should involve teaching-preaching as opposed to I-already-know-this-preaching or self-help-preaching. The latter two require little learning curve. But the former requires a created environment that facilitates learning.

What I mean: On any given Sunday in many churches, the pastor preaches to a congregation who were mostly unaware of what his topic/text would be. In an attempt to not alienate visitors/move quickly, the pastor will rarely reference his previous sermons. He will preach no longer than 20-30 minutes, and will use an outline-style format often alliterated for easy notetaking. In my own experience, this produces church-goers who have listened to sermons for years and taken copious notes, yet who have gained little real growth in the knowledge of God.

My passion stems from my own growth at the listening to preachers such as Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, John Piper, Tim Keller, Darrin Patrick, and others. Each of these men preaches from 40 - 120 minutes, yet few complain about having to go to a late lunch. Why? Beacuse in each of their churches, there is an environment that has been cultivated for teaching-preaching. They often spend months (in Piper's case, 12 years) on a single book, and spend more time than the average pastor teaching background information. They provide their church members with an understanding of greater church history. These systematic approaches, combined with usable-yet-not-repetitive outlines and illustrations gleaned from personal experience and culture rather than in the form of "pastor jokes", provide congregations with a foundation for developing theology. Plus, these churches normally upload their sermons online in audio, video, manuscript, or a combination of forms. This allows hearers to relisten to something, look at the pastor's notes (esp. if they preach multiple services), or listen to a week's message if they are absent.

There are arguments against this concept:

Chiefly, the time. However, again, these pastors rarely field complaints in this area, leading em to believe that if such an environment (expectation) is created, it ceases to be an issue
Theology is too deep/unnecessary/isn't Christianity simple/we're not speaking to all church goers/etc. This is a pet peeve of mine. Theology influences all the practices and activities and structures of the church - therefore it is immensely necessary. One common misunderstanding is that to teach theology, one will be using big words and concepts (often in greek or hebrew), when in reality, the important part is simply to define words, and keep on defining them so that people don't fall behind. Working slowly is a good thing.
Teaching isn't evangelistic. While this can sometimes be true, normally a thorough exposition of a text points to Jesus. Plus, this argument is used primarily by people who aren't seeking to tell people about Jesus through doing ministry (ministry that is greatly aided by an understanding of theology) - they want the pastor to fulfill this role.

I think Bell's abilities in both using deep, meaningful illustrations, and being simplistic yet amazingly organized, reflect the example of Jesus, who kept crowds for long periods of time without regard to hunger (and then he fed them), taught perplexing spiritual truths his own disciples couldn't understand, and used the environment around him as means for teaching...and he didn't even have a whiteboard.

an old man and his wife grow roses

2008-02-29T08:39:00.000-05:00

“Roses” by Caedmon’s Call

High above the valley of Quito

An old man and his bride grow roses

Red and yellow, white and golden,

To him they are precious as children

Their daughter, she moved to America

One more break in the Tower of Babel

She has a son that they've never seen at all

They're praying that they raised her well

On the mountain high

They will live and die

As time just slips away

And the children grow

In the God they know

As time just slips away

A man, his bride, his children, and his roses

Planted in faith

And watered in tears

Honey, that's all they have And they're happier here

Than any of my friends back home

They met Jesus and they really know Him

Now I'm back at home

All alone

And I'm trying to find my thoughts

Of that old man so inspiring

And the TV's always on

And the phone, it won't stop ringing

These bills, they keep on screaming

I'm paying for the things We never really need

Wonder what he's doing right now?

Maybe walking through his simple field

Thinking about how

God has blessed him so

A man, his bride, his children, and his roses…

Caedmon’s Call released one of my favorite albums of all time in 2004, "Share the Well", based on their missions experiences the previous year to Ecuador and India. It didn’t hurt that I first heard the album driving through the Nicaraguan mountainside; after I arrived stateside I immediately rushed out and bough the album. I still marvel over the use of instruments from other cultures interspersed with traditional American folk and contemporary pop. The song above, "Roses", is from that album. While I liked the song (I like the entire album), it was not one of my favorites until I played the album for the woman who will become my wife later this year. She loves it, which made me re-listen to it. It is now a song that both inspires and haunts me.

You see, I knew my own “old man” in Nicaragua, Santos Emilio - the man whom I helped deliver Bibles to small houses dotting the mountainside. He was in his late 50s, and had taken off work for a week to help our team and his church – this is huge, as they don’t get vacation benefits in the mountains. He wore a California Angels hat and a Tampa Bay Buccaneers shirt all week. Yet he had such joy as he travelled from house to house, delivering the Word of Truth to his people. I was little more than a mule on these trips, as my gift of gab doesn’t work in a nation that doesn’t speak English. Yet what a happy mule I was! He would take handfuls of books from my backpack, and when he had delivered them all he looked back at me, hungry for more. We couldn’t speak words to each other, but smiles and laughter were all the language we needed.

I never was able to really speak to Emilio; I know nothing about his family save the few moments I smiled at his wife; I’m sure he is human and has difficulties just as I do. Yet in those moments, this song came true. Here was a man, sold out to Christ, lacking the distractions and “to-do” lists that plague so many of our lives. It is as if we have all joined a cult of productivity, attempting to stay afloat in a world that is continually increasing its speed.

Why do we do this? I think it all boils down to our definition of the word “ambition”. We have ambition in many ways because we cannot seem to rest on the laurels of our parents – and sometimes this is a good thing. We pursue innovation, exploration, and creativity. However, we also become trapped in the cycle of trumping those before us out of a fear of being insignificant; our pride will not let us be anything less than excellent at everything.

I’ve posted my goals for 2008 on this site, and I still stand by them. I think it is a good thing to have something to pursue, to improve upon oneself. Yet I can’t help but think of that man and his roses – he is improving on himself, also, growing in love, faith, happiness. My house is a wreck now, with stuff strewn everywhere by a number of events and projects…and I feel as though I wade through garbage, a myriad of things that no longer produce their expected joy. That man has pride, pride in creation, in family, in hope. I know I serve a God who provides such things, who hears me and desires to laugh with me, who wants me to fall in love with Him and His creation and His people. But there are so many distractions…

Maybe I should have an eleventh goal for 2008: to become a humbler, quieter man.

january update

2008-02-01T09:55:00.000-05:00

Thought it best to give an update on all things Steve to my readers (of course, there aren’t that many of you, but you are appreciated!)

God blessed me immensely this week, after a minor “holy-crap-I-feel-like-Job-why-do-you-hate-me-God-I-want-my-momma” breakdown over the weekend. The progression of events:

Saturday – My backpack gets stolen (including my laptop, digital camera, Bible, shoes, notes, textbooks, library books, and my Braveheart DVD!)
Sunday – Attend a “dropping out” party for my friend Caleb, 19, with cancer
Monday – Freak out due to wedding concerns, loss of all my stuff on my laptop, the thought of having to throw my savings out the window to replace everything in that backpack

But God blesses his children, abit in ways we don’t expect. Tuesday morning my backpack was found out behind the BCM; my digital camera and 3 year-old shoes had been stolen, and my stuff gone through – but they didn’t take the laptop. Amazing. Stupid if you’re an aspiring criminal, but a miracle. Tuesday night an awesome speaker at our weekly BCM worship gathering spoke on grace, and I was brought to tears and smiles all at the same time. So often, especially if you’ve lost your innocence at the ways churches work like I have, we forget that church is but a pale reflection of Christ and what He has done. That’s worth remembering. Wednesday night a youth at my church prayed to receive that same grace, and God is allowing my thesis stuff to fall into place smoothly. Krissi’s had a hard week, but God has allowed me to be an encouragement to her just because I’m so happy this week. I’ve been able to pray with godly men over the past few days, and am excited about living for Christ.

A quick update on the 2008 Goals for Steve project:

1. 5k – I ran my first mile a few weeks ago. I’m getting new shoes tonight (see above), and hopefully in the next few weeks I’ll be adding laps; I want to run a 1.5 mile by the end of February consistently.
2. Bible – Currently a little behind, I’m on Exodus 25. Hope to be through with the Pentateuch by Spring Break.
3. Thesis – 4 pages in, but a good structure and direction. I’m trying to knock off a whole chapter this weekend. Also, I have a date for my defense: April 9, 2008 at 2:30 PM.
4. Marriage/Honeymoon – I love Krissi (did I mention she’s beautiful?); I’m almost halfway there as far as saving for the honeymoon. Plans are coming together.
5. Photography – Well, my camera was stolen, so part of me wants to use that as justification to buy a camera. But I’m still in the research phase, asking around, looking stuff up, etc.
6. Ocoee – This has to wait until summer before it tightens up.
7. Bench Press – I’m still at 105. I need to figure out a way to be more productive; maybe pushups on my off days.
8. Memorize – A few tries, but this one hasn’t gotten off the ground yet.
9. Mission Trip – Man, we both really want to go. Talking with that international student yesterday made it hurt.
10. Journal – This one has fallen by the wayside – I need to pick it back up.

Well, that’s my life. Pray that God continues to teach me things, and that I will keep my ears open.

it comes for us all

2008-01-28T09:15:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, you begin to ponder things much bigger than yourself. I hope that you do this weekly (it’s called ‘worship’). But I take that for granted as much as the next guy. This month, I’ve had to ponder something related that has hit me much harder than I first realized.

When you’re young, you are indestructible. You live forever. You have no concept of life being finite, even as you profess belief in afterlife or have family or friends pass away. I don’t know, something about preparing to get married and enter ‘the real world’…but those feelings are leaving me.

A close friend of my family, Tim Stevens, died earlier this month. I saw him for the first and last time since he had gotten sick on Christmas Eve. Tim was a strong, hearty man, and I was blown away by how withered he was when I saw him. Last Tuesday, Heath Ledger, a popular actor, died of an apparent drug interaction. He was only 7 years older than I. And the guy in the photo is my friend Caleb.

Caleb found out on Friday that he’s got lymphoma. Cancer.

He’s 19.

Suddenly death becomes all too real, and its ‘unknown’ quality becomes VERY present. No matter what you believe about where you go when you die, there is a hint of fear, a hint of darkness, of finality, about death. No one in modern times has ever come back.

I know I’m a Christian; I believe Christ died to cover my sins and to reconcile me before God, and I will exist after this life in a life fuller than I can ever imagine. But I wish that faith was stronger, that it could drive out the slight chill you feel when you realize you might have said goodbye to a friend last night…and that the goodbye you said might just very well be that – goodbye.

Pray for Caleb, and I’ll be updating this again soon. Pray for me, too – my prayer is as the dead girl’s father, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

like a fried egg

2008-01-25T16:19:00.000-05:00

This morning my head exploded.

Seriously. If you were one of the unfortunate souls to have read this blog this morning, you might have thought I was ready to become Buddhist and hope my next life was that of a cockroach, because it would have at least been one step above this one.

(since I’m typing this I’m sure you’ve figured out that I happen to be addicted to hyperbole – don’t worry; I’m on the patch)

Krissi and I went on a cruise a week ago, and it was wonderful. I got the sleep I have needed for some time. Going back to work on Tuesday was a different matter. The combination of 10 days of peace followed by homework, my job, and the other stresses of life hit me like a sledgehammer. Do you know what happens to an ice cube when it’s put in a glass of hot liquid?

It cracks.

And Krissi is even worse. Her large class load has made getting together for anything other than damage control (one/both of us venting/crying/collapsing/yelling). These have been some hard, hard days for our relationship, and our lives in general. This morning, except for the knowledge that God’s grace is sufficient to cover even my stupidity, I would have questioned the whole enchilada.

Thankfully, I know God works in seasons. However, much in me wants to adopt an old jock mentality (keep your head down and run until your legs fall off, play hurt) instead of throwing myself before God’s mercy. Why? It sounds harder, but actually, it’s easier. Because I don’t just sit at God’s feet and wait for Him to say, “Mercy has been granted! You may now resume your less-stressful life!” I have to keep moving.

I know I’ll get through this. We will get through this. But I never want to live this way again.

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy.

genesis

2008-01-07T16:02:00.000-05:00

It's a new year, and as such, is one of the two or three times a year where I attempt to take on new habits. In many places, the idea of "new year's resolutions" has somewhat gone out of vogue, citing their self-centered nature and almost laughable seriousness - even so, with January being the start of a new calendar year AND the beginning of my last semester of college, my last semester as a single man, my last semester of having things paid for by my family, etc., its a good time for me to address a number of things in my life.

I probably have a billion things I could improve in my life - I seem to have a habit of having many good habits countered with many bad habits. For example - I enjoy exercising, but I can eat an entire box of oreos with the best of them; I can be both passionately productive and zone out for 4 hours watching made-for-TV movies in the same day.

My goals for the next year (not in order of importance):

1. Run a 5k.

A 5k? (I can hear the laughter from here) Yes, a 5k. In middle school, I was the kid who didn't even try to run, simply because I hated to watch everyone else effortlessly beat me (I once tried to WALK the mile run, thinking a non-stop brisk walk would be faster than my out-of-breath running). In high school, I tried and failed, able to run a mile in a pitiful 9 minutes. To this day I cannot jog for one mile nonstop. 5k is a good goal, and if I reach that by my birthday, we'll look at the 10k. How am I doing this? By going to the gym for a serious workout 3 times a week, and jogging on the off days to a lake behind my house. I hope these things also help me take quiet time to reflect and pray as well.

2. Read through the whole Bible.

People often make this a resolution as well. They get a plan, or a One-Year Bible with it broken up into days, etc. These things have never worked for me. I think I'm allergic to plans that are tight; I just can't seem to get into something where I have to read this portion, or check off that box. No, what this resolution is about is deeper...me developing a love for Scripture. I want to consume the Word, not just analyze specific passages. I'll take sparse notes and analyze later. Of course, this one has a catch - if God moves me, I might re-read a book or three, so the resolution isn't as much about consuming all of Scripture, but rather ending the year still having a passion for devouring chunks of God's Word.

3. Finish my Honor's Thesis and graduate FSU.

My honor's thesis will be a major accomplishment for me in that not only will it allow me to graduate FSU, but it will instill in me the academic disciplines I need to go into grad school in seminary.

4. Get married and take my WIFE on an awesome honeymoon.

Again, sounds like a given (don't worry, I am marrying Krissi James; it isn't just a goal), but having a ceremony that doesn't break the bank/drive us insane and that honors God is important. Also, I am a huge honeymoon proponant - and not just for the obvious reasons. Not that I've ever been married before, but from what I gather, getting married is an extremely public affair. Yes, you stare into the other person's eyes and make lifelong vows and dance and cut cake and drive off into the sunset, but everything up until that point is done for and in front of hundreds of people. But the honeymoon - I think it is a tangible gesture of a man's love for his wife. Just as the ring does not have to be extravagent but rather should reflect the personality and tastes of the woman wearing it, so should the honeymoon be a gift of love to a man's wife. Krissi's gonna love hers...and I'm not telling her until the wedding day!!! It's a goal because it will cost some money, and as such I need to be very careful with my spending habits so that I have the money to take her on the trip of her dreams.

5. Become a photographer.

Lately, mostly because of the influence of both my job and a seemingly never-ending quest to find a wedding photographer, I have become intrigued and awed by the beauty of photography, in all its forms. Abstracts and nudes bring me back to my days working in the art museum, nature brings out my longing for a connection with creation, fashion makes me want to take pictures of Krissi, and street/documentary photography brings back up what I wanted to do in Panama but never finished - using art to tell the stories of people who cannot speak for themselves to people who wouldn't otherwise listen. My goal is to buy a Nikon D40 and learn to shoot digital photography, culminating in getting to use my skills to document a missions experience for a church.

6. Raft the Ocoee.

Most guys let their groomsmen plan their bachlor party. Not me. In 9th grade, I got to go on a church white water rafting trip, and it was the time of my life. I was scared to even go in the water, and completely self-concious of the fact that I was the weekling in the boat - yet I had a great time. Now, 8 years later, I get to go back, and take on the river again. I want to go with a group of guys who each have meant something to me in life, and who together can worship with me and prepare me mentally for becoming a husband.

7. Bench Press 150 lbs.

Also a physical goal that goes along with the 5k, I've always been a weekling at pretty much anything physical - I have trouble lifting heavy boxes and equiptment, and have little to no endurance. That needs to change. Currently I work out with 100 pounds. Being able to bench my weight is a huge goal for me.

8. Memorize a book of the Bible.

I once knew a guy who had memorized the entire book of Romans. This is awesome. It's not about performing it in front of anyone (if it becomes that, this one gets stricken from the list), but rather the continuation of a passion for the Word - not only to devour it but to make it a part of you. Muslims honor those who can quote the Koran, and Hebrew boys once learned the entire Torah before becoming Rabbis...a man who wishes to become a pastor should do all he can to hide the Word in his heart.

9. Go on a mission trip.

Krissi and I had planned to go to India this summer, but with getting married, graduating, and work schedules we decided to postpone our trip. However, I still want to go serve somewhere this year. We've looked at the winter as an option.

10. Write in a journal.

Off and on, I've tried to keep a journal ever since 10th grade. This year, I want to continue to habit, and do so without large gaps. My goal is not to write in it every night or even every week, but in a year to be able to look on my journal and see content that records a year's worth of experiences, and to still be writing in that journal (or another one if that one is filled up!).

So there you go, Steve's 10 goals for this year. Perhaps next year I'll report on the success/failure of each. Regardless, may they all come to pass if the Lord wills, and all for His glory.

The Premier

2007-12-27T09:38:00.000-05:00

So I've had this blog bouncing around in my head for quite a few weeks, but with all the hullabaloo of school ending and the holidays, I just haven't had the time to sit down and type it out till just about...now.

Being engaged, being betrothed is an odd sensation. It's an inbetween period, a limbo, a transitioning step. You gain new freedoms and boundaries, new questions and assurances. It is completely overwhelming and yet simply happy at the same time. Basically, your head decides to implode and explode at the same time creating this lovely rouge to the outside world that it is simply floating naturally above your shoulders as it always has. Everyone has advice, a book, a recommendation, or a name to give. There's about 200, 000 intricacies to plan about the wedding and 7 zillion different ways to offend someone by the way you plan them. And all this is happening while you are simultaneously attempting to prepare yourself for the marriage after the wedding.

And all you really want to do is be with the man you love...for the rest of your life.
All this chaos just seems very unnecessary, bothersome, and painful.

But there is purpose to it. There is a distinct need for it.
Maybe not for the 700 emails I've written to photographers or for the obscene prices of chairs...
but I do believe that this time of "engagement" is indeed very necessary.

It's funny because I used to ask myself: If God wanted us to be with Him, if He loves us so much, if Earth is just this sin-rampant, horrendous place...why upon our salvation, upon our acceptance of His proposal, upon our realization of His sacrifice and want to be one with him...why can't we just be taken up into the heavens with him? Why do we have this transition period, why must we stay on Earth?

This is the church's engagement period to God, my engagement to Christ...
this inbetween, transition time between my acceptance of His proposal for eternal life in Him, and the fulfillment of that promise when I die.
Yes, at times it seems painful and bothersome...and all you really want to do is be with Him, to love and be loved by Him for the the rest of eternity...
but this engagement period IS pivotal, IS needed, IS worthwhile.

I'm learning all of this through my engagement to Steve. I've learned so much in just these last 2 months, and it's helping me realize, helping me see the purpose in my engagement to Christ.
I love it.
More later...I think it'll take a good lifetime or so to explore this concept ;)

questions for myself

2007-12-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

I'm currently thinking of my goals for 2008 (as if writing my thesis, graduating, and getting married weren't enough!) One that sticks out in my brain is to honestly answer these questions every day:

Have I treasured Christ above all today?
Have I treasured Krissi above all but Christ?

I'm realizing that I can really hurt Krissi if I'm not careful, even with little things like my reactions to comments or my attitudes when I talk to her. Then, it's so easy to project the eventual annoyance I feel at her reactions onto her and think/act even worse towards her. This is crap; I'm supposed to treasure her and treat her as Christ did me - sacrificing for me, loving me unconditionally, protecting me, providing for me, all while being real yet strong. I want to always be able to answer these questions positively and authentically.

reclaiming manhood

2007-12-21T15:05:00.000-05:00

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore it says, "When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men." (In saying, "He ascended," what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.) And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love (Ephesians 4: 1-16).

Again, the Word of God read is often more powerful than I ever dreamed. The first verse calls us to walk in a way that reflects the calling of our lives. This is significant, because it requires us to know what we are called to do, and then to allow that calling to permeate every part of our lives. I am called to be a pastor, a teacher, a writer, a missionary. I must live in a way that my life reflects this, from what I read to what I spend my money on.

Then, He gives me the outlines of my calling: to disciple the church in a way that promotes unity, maturity, and an intimate knowledge of God (note: these are interconnected; therefore, we cannot say 'Don't teach that because it will cause disunity' if the subject in question is scriptural). Likewise, we see a picture of how to grow a healthy church - by individual people growing in unity, maturity, and in intimacy with Christ! It all comes down not simply to our practices and methodology, but to the theology that drives that!

I want to use part of this passage as I teach my Sunday School class about manhood this spring. Manhood must be defined ONLY as striving toward our identities in Christ, not simply as machoism and football.

sometimes you're reminded

2007-12-19T14:12:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, you're reminded of how the Christian heroes of old survived in an age without "Christian" bookstores. This is one of those times.

For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles—
Surely you have heard about the administration of God's grace that was given to me for you, that is, the mystery made known to me by revelation, as I have already written briefly. In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to men in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God's holy apostles and prophets. This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus.

I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.

Sometime's it is hard for me to read Paul (as in here in Ephesians 3), because it's easy to see him as arrogant and egotistical - unless you remember that he is writing to the Ephesians as their spiritual leader, in full belief that what he believes has been revealed to him by God. With that in mind, look at the second paragraph. This is our calling, and resounds with me because I am studying to be in ministry professionally. God allowed me, who had no right to be such a leader (regardless of my gifts, deeds, or abilities) to serve Him in this capacity, and He empowers me to do it.

It is also very important to note that He spreads His glory through the church. Despite what I feel from time to time about the church and its problems, God states here that the expression of His glroy to the world will primarily be the church. To me, this means:

"nature" is not enough of a witness to fully reveal Christ to most people. I cannot be apathetic in my view of evangelism.
If a church has fallen away, my upmost efforts should be to restore that fellowship to a correct view of Christ, rather than immediately going off and starting my own thing.
Parachurch ministries are not enough - they should exist only to assist the local church.
Efforts should not simply go into leading people to Christ, but to reproducing the church in a local context.

Then, Paul continues the thought he began at the beginning of the passage:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Krissi commented this morning that perhaps we misuse the concept faith. I think we mix it up with effort (if I would only try harder to do X, if I only trusted God more = if I had more faith...). One of the major themes of the entire book of Ephesians is God's grace towards us - we do not have the ability ourselves to come to Him OR to continue with Him. Look at the prayer: He glorifies the One whose power is at work within us, asks that the power may be strengthened, to the point that we have the power to comprehend God's love for us! This love is beyond mere knowledge, so we cannot study theology or the Bible or spiritual disciplines to understand it...it comes from Him.

I want to begin to pray "Lord, give me the ability to understand you better, the faith to dive deeper into your love."

when does family stop becoming family?

2007-12-13T09:25:00.000-05:00

One of the things I have fought for since being called to vocational ministry has been my continual allegiance to my denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC). Regardless of my changing theological and methodological views, I steadfastly believe in the principles and values of the SBC. Why?

The SBC has the Cooperative Fund, arguably one of the best missions-funding programs in existence
The SBC has a great seminary system
The SBC is amazing at providing children and students with missions education and opportunities
The SBC values the local, autonomous church

Again, though some of my beilefs have changed over the years, I love these qualities of my denomination. Secondly, I love the people. I believe there is a vast group of people within the SBC who could blow the top off this world for the gospel if the Spirit moved among them...besides, these are the same people who raised me, who love me, who still go to the churches I have come to know and love. They are my family, my friends...I want them to have the passion for God's glory that I feel.

Yesterday was the first time I have truly questioned my calling to stay within the SBC. On Tuesday, the Missouri Baptist Convention (MBC) passed a resolution effective January 1st, 2008, ceasing Cooperative Program funding to all church plants affiliated with the Acts29 church planting network. Let me explain the circumstances surrounding this, and why I am shaken.

The Journey is a church plant pastored by Darrin Patrick. Beginning in the early 2000s, the Journey grew from 30 to over 1200. The Journey is part of the Acts29 church Planting Network (of which Patrick is heavily involved in leadership).
Acts29 is a trans-denominational church plant networking system that helps to direct funding for chruch plants from other local churches. They provide assesment services and training. They are Reformed in theology.
The Journey recieved a $200,000 loan from the MBC to help fund their church plant.

Now the issue:

The Journey began a program called Theology at the Bottleworks, which is exactly as it sounds: a theological discussion over drinks.
MBC objected to this, to the point of calling for professor Mark DeVine of Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary to do a profile of the emrging church movement, of which they find Acts29 to be a member
DeVine's paper can be found online, and his conclusions found Acts29 to be on the conservative side of the emerging church movement
MBC then passed resolutions which obviously ignored DeVine's findings, associating Acts29 with streams within the emerging church movement which deny the substitutionary atonement of Christ
This path has now led to the MBC denying funding to all Acts29-associated churches beginning January 1, 2008

Why do I have some issues with this? Shouldn't the MBC be able to decide to whom they give thier funding to?

The answer is yes. It's not that I have a problem with people choosing where to send funding. It is the why they make their choices that troubles me. DeVine's paper is spot on. I can do(and have done) the research myself the know that his conclusions are valid. And I cannot see within his paper how someone can make such resolutions. This makes me wonder: what is the real issue? Alcohol? I still don't agree with the decision, but why punish all the churches in the MBC for The Journey's choices (as Acts29's president has stated)? Is it about theological differences? If so, why the political war?

It is the ignorance that scares me. I hesitate to write this, because I am only 21, and arrogance and judgement can easily slip in here (though I pray this comes out of my passion for the SBC, and not to cause devision). But if a 21 year old can do the research necessary to see that churches affiliated with Acts29 are not a hinderance to but rather an asset to the SBC, I question why such decisions are upheld. I have not even mentioned the fact that Acts29 has a 99% success rate for planting churches (higher than NAMB's 70% rate), or that Dr. Ed Stetzer, Lifeway's chief missiologist, is on Acts29's board of directors.

At what point will the SBC stop being inclusive? When will we see the Word of God as our final standard, and the fruit of discipleship-making, new-believer baptizing, church-planting churches as our litmus test? I fear that someday the SBC may have no place for those who wish to engage our culture for the gospel. Including me.

when we fight

2007-12-12T10:04:00.001-05:00

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i miss being old

2007-12-11T11:03:00.000-05:00

This is The Favorite by Georgios Iakovidis. Today, after a hard day, I miss my grandfathers. I'm not sure if you had them, but mine were great. They weren't perfect by any means - in fact, often they were downright awnry - but something about them, maybe their smell, made me feel wiser for knowing them.

Yep, it's definitely the smell. Grandaddy (my father's father) lived 5 minutes up the road from me. He always wore Arimas aftershave and a plaid dress shirt, often with a mesh trucker cap (before they were cool). These clothes smelled of Arimas mixed with sweat and dust, which was the constant companion of anyone who attended the local flea-market religiously and refinished old furniture and tools. Grandaddy was quiet, yet he always had a hearty laugh and a good story ready. Through him I learned to fish, to cut grass, to buy things cheap and haggle for them if they weren't. He taught me to dress sharp, and to keep a handkerchief in my pocket. Jen, if you ever read this, you can thank Grandaddy for that handkerchief. Grandaddy was also a quiet pillar of our church, a deacon with a passion for going to visit people in the hospital who never seemed to speak out loud except when he was called on, at which point he would deliver the calmest and most collected speech of anyone in the building. There was almost something magical about him.

Papa (my mom’s father) was a rascal. Tested by harsh winters he endured as a naval mechanic at the South Pole, he was often bitter and cynical, speaking of things he had no knowledge of as if he were a Harvard professor, and with the assurance that he was right. Yet he was a pillar in his own right, the lynchpin that held a chaotic family together through the hardest struggles one must endure. I said this at his funeral, and it is no less true today than the first time I spoke it. I remember Papa’s hands. If Grandaddy’s aftershave was Arimas, Papa’s was sawdust. As a side job, Papa cut wood for people all over their small town. I’ve never seen someone that old in that good shape, regardless of what the doctors told him. He would, day after long day, haul wood from wherever to the side of his house, split logs three times his size with an assortment of chainsaws and aged machinery, and then take it back again. His language was peppered with bits of wisdom wound in jokes and orders, like “Eat your beans (or rice) – they put hair on your chest”. At that age, I dreaded the eventual hair that would put me at odds with the female-attracting portion of my gender, so much so that I shaved it off for years. You’d be proud of me, Papa.

That last sentence gives me pause, though. Would he? Would either of them, especially if they knew all of me - the parts that they themselves wouldn’t admit to anyone they had? I can be cynical with the best of them, and selfish to boot. Grandaddy’s quiet nature fell on deaf (or already talking) ears – I long to be someone who will shut up long enough to listen again. And Grandaddy had long bouts with depression, too. I never understood them until I started having them.

Look at the picture. A child has no reason to learn about pipes, and her parents probably weren’t jumping for joy at this newfound fascination. But that’s what grandpas are for. Somehow, getting old pushes them past the wall of being correct, or safe, or accepted. It gives them wisdom, the wisdom that comes from seeing things from the other side, from knowing that life is closing in on them. Grandaddy was an artist, and his pictures hung around his house – though no one else knew. Papa wasn’t great with money (and this illustrates that) but he bought a motorcycle at 70 and swore he’d ride it if it killed him. And he never stopped dreaming of that WWII Jeep he always wanted.

Part of me misses being old. Not the old of authority, or power, or status. No, I miss what I haven’t tasted yet – holding hands with my wife and telling her she’s still the prettiest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, smelling the cold of the morning and the age of my things, teaching my grandson in days what it took me a lifetime to master. To look on life and say it is good.

breaking down walls

2007-12-11T10:37:00.000-05:00

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Oh the mystery of our God, who in some way (and this sounds almost blasphemous to say) sets us with Christ in the heavens. Ephesians 2:4-10 shows us that we have been (notice the past tense) seated with Christ. What have I done to be honored in heaven? But the past tense is important, for it is not for something we will do, but for what we have already done - nothing, except being saved through God's grace. I am honored for being a vessel for the grace of God to be manifest.

One question: are we God's workmanship (in this context) because of our salvation or because of our creation? The latter seems to imply that God has prepared good works for all people to do.

Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (that done in the body by the hands of men)— remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Ephesians 2:11-22 begins to move into something I've been thinking alot about lately: cultural studies. We often create "divides" by which we seperate people into the good and the bad. Even more often, we do this at church. We add more commandments and regulations to replace those which we lose because of Christ. Where is our peace? I want to find how we can make culture not about dividing, but sharing, delving into the 'foundation' which we are a part of.

Last note: is the final you plural or singular?

good people and bad people

2007-12-06T17:21:00.000-05:00

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

So, this morning krissi was slightly fried due to the start of her finals, so we didn't get far. But in Ephesians 2:1-3, we see a diachotomy built between those following Satan/self/world, and those who are no longer acting in this way. I struggle with this diachotomy because you think of so many people who are very good people, who are compassionate and helpful and, well...good. But when you look at the human race as a whole, you see this concept easily, how we cannot help but pursue selfish ends (which themselves end with everything eventually falling apart), and how people who do not know God can nonetheless emulate qualities of Christ.

'children of wrath' = those born under the wrath of God? those born with the wrath of God and the curse of sin upon them?

thanks, wisdom, hope, and authority

2007-12-04T11:26:00.000-05:00

For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love
toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you inmy prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

Here in Ephesians 1:15-23, Krissi and I realized we don't nearly thank God for
the Christian friends He has given us. They have helped us through so much in
our lives, from counseling, to stretching us and exposing us to new things
(literally our paths in life!). What if we were to cultivate a life of
thankfulness for the people God gives us? What would that look like?

Krissi
saw the following progression:

"may give you a spirit of wisdom..." God grants us the grace by which we progressively know Him better
"the hope to which He has called you" This knowledge allows us to persevere (and continue to know Him even more) through our sufferings, because we have hope in Christ

We wonder about the final sentence. Possibilities:

Christ has all authority over creation (all things)
Christ has given this authority to the church
Christ has authority in all things pertaining to the church

Amplified Bible and Message paraphrases of v22-23:

And He has put all things under His feet and has appointed Him the universal and supreme Head of the church [a headship exercised throughout the church], Which is His body, the fullness of Him Who fills all in all [for in that body lives the full measure of Him Who makes everything complete, and Who fills everything everywhere with Himself].
He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything. At the center of all this, Christ rules the church. The church, you see, is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church. The church is Christ's body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.

Apparantly these translations seem to side with the church being headed over by Christ. Yet it also seems to position the church in a unique role of authority within the world, if Christ, the author of creation and ruler over all, resides in us.

and evening and morning were the first day

2007-12-03T14:08:00.000-05:00

This morning, my fiance and I studied this passage, found in Ephesians 1:1-14.
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,
To the saints who are in Ephesus, and are faithful in Christ Jesus: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might
be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.
It was wonderful. We had breakfast, prayed together, and then studied God's Word. How long has it been since the center of our relationship was the Word and prayer! I've prayed and hungered for this idea for so long, only to not realize how to grasp it. I thank God for the accountability in the Word Krissi is providing. My prayers:
That this would be a thing of unrelenting importance for both of us, uninterrupted by homework or sleep.
That we would make prayer even more of a priority, so mcuh so that our time becomes one of intercession for our friends, marriage, and the lost.
That we would grow closer to Christ and each other through a committment to the Word of God.
As far as the passage, here were our conversations and questions:
Grace and peace is central to all of Paul's greetings. It seems that an acceptance of the mercy and gift of God in Jesus, and the obedience to the Holy Spirit guiding our lives, is Paul's wish for all, and that in those interactions, peace would result.
What are the spiritual blessings we have been blessed with through Christ? Heaven? The Holy Spirit? A relationship with God and others?
Ah, predestination. Who knows? The passage does seem to push, however, God's will and purpose for His glory. Grace also serves as the means to accomplish this. We talked about John Piper's "best case scenerio" idea, whereby God's actualized will is the reality that will gain Him the most glory and therefore us the most happiness.
The big question we had was the speakers of the passage. Paul wrote it to the Ephesians, but he often uses 'we' in the above passage, and then at the end says 'you also'. Does this mean that the former ideas do not apply to the Ephesians? Did God only predestine the apostles and Paul?
Ideas for pondering...